Everything You Want to Know About Having a Baby! Q&A

Everything You Want to Know About Having a Baby! Q&A

Hey guys welcome back to my channel, my name is lina. If you guys are new and i'm super excited to be doing a q a today on my channel, i have not done a proper q a in a while, and this one's going to be all about having a baby is going to be everything about pregnancy, Postpartum just the delivery process, um and just anything you guys want to know. So i asked you guys a couple weeks ago and we're going to get into all of your questions. This may be a little bit tmi for some of you, because it is about having a baby. So click off this video, if that's not for you but, let's go ahead and get into y'all's questions. I guess just a little like intro about me. In case you guys are new, so i have a nine week old little baby girl elena. This is my first baby.

I was a labor and delivery nurse for about four years prior to doing youtube and blogging full-time um, so yeah, let's go ahead and get into it.

Okay, these questions are gon na, be a little bit out of order as far as like pregnancy, postpartum and all that goes. But first question is what was the most painful part of delivery, so the most painful part for me was the contractions right before i got my epidural, so i did get an epidural and i would highly recommend it to anyone who is thinking About it as a labor and delivery nurse, a lot of times, first-time moms would say like. Oh, i'm just gon na see i'll just kind of play it by ear, we'll just see how things go, i'm not sure if i'm getting an epidural, and almost ninety percent of the time they got the epidural.

So i was not even gon na think about it. I did not think twice. I asked for the epidural and i was very happy about it. Next question is: how has your relationship with omar changed since having elena? This is actually a really good question that was asked a lot, and this was something i was super worried about.

The night before i went into the hospital i was literally crying because, while i was so emotional being like at the end of my pregnancy, but i was just thinking about how it was going to change between me and omar, like once, we had the Baby, it is definitely a challenge you guys, like. We are so just focused in on this little baby and just kind of like our attention and everything that just goes straight to her. We really have to make an effort to like pay attention to each other, and just like make time for ourselves. We have gone on two date nights since we had the baby in nine weeks and it's just that time is just so precious and so needed, and we honestly need another date night, so bad, because i feel like when we're home, even though we Spend every waking moment together. Um all of our attention and focus is on the baby, so it's just so important to like still make that time for each other. It's not that it has hurt our relationship in any way.

I mean we love each other.

More than ever, and just like seeing him with our baby just makes me love him even more, but just like having that time that we had for each other before the baby is just non-existent right now, so we're still working on it. If you guys have any tips for just like how to like you know, maintain that relationship. When you have a newborn, i think it's just gon na get better. I think, i think, right now, it's just like we are so absorbed into her and just like trying to like make sure we're doing this right and. It's just also new to us. I think that i think it's just gon na take time, but right now we are like in over our heads with just like newborn life, and just really just focusing in on her so yeah. That is kind of like where we're at right now. The next question is: why didn't you upload the face of your baby? Please show her face, and i wanted to answer this question because a lot of you guys are asking if i'm ever going to show my baby and we are planning to show her. It's just that we're just kind of like we don't know, we don't know what we're doing yet. I think i decided that i wasn't comfortable sharing her in the beginning, just because, like during my pregnancy, i received a lot of negativity online and it really scared me, like i, just - would hate for my baby to receive any negativity, online, And she's, just like this innocent little human being and i just did not want to like expose her to any of that and with her just being like such a fragile, tiny newborn, i don't know.

I think it's just like that.

Motherly instinct that i had i just didn't want to just like she's omar has her right now he can hear her but um. She just i just didn't want to like expose her to any negativity online. So i'm i'm like slowly starting to share her a little bit more but yeah. It's not that i'm like trying to hide her face because it's i don't know.

I don't really think that there's any point to hiding her face. People are going to see her in public. It's just that. I just didn't want her to be like the center of my content and like. The main thing on my on my channel, like i want to like, still be able to share like fashion and beauty and like just all the things that i like um, with kind of mixing in like baby stuff here and there. The next question is: what is it like, seeing omar step into his role as a father? So i oh my gosh, i absolutely love seeing omar as a father.

He has honestly stepped up, be like above and beyond. What i could have ever even hoped or wish for, like he's just super hands-on as a dad and will, like you know, be more than happy to like do diaper changes and get up in the middle of the night and just do anything and everything for Her he's obsessed with her it's so so cute, so alhamdulillah, i'm so blessed to have a husband.

That's also such an amazing dad next question is: does breastfeeding hurt and i got this one quite a bit, so i thought i'd answer it.

So i'm sure that this is different for every single, breastfeeding mom um. For me, it was painful for the first like few days, like maybe, two or three days and then after well, probably the first week and then after that it's been pretty painless, which is great um.

The first few days i mean i had all the cracking, all the blisters everything it was so, uncomfortable um, and it's also like super like oh, like.

You have all these cracks and blisters and then, like you, can't get away from it. Like you, you have to keep feeding your baby like every two hours, at least so. That was just like. Oh, my god, like how am i gon na get through this, but i have a really good, uh nibble, better that i will link down below, for you guys, i think, just staying on top of nipple, better and um.

Also, if you guys, are having a lot of pain with breastfeeding and cracking, and things like that and it's been more than a few days and more than like a week or so then you guys should definitely see a lactation consultant. They can like see how the latches, with the baby and see like what you can like change to make it a lot more comfortable for you, because it's definitely not supposed to hurt.

Another thing you could do in the beginning is use a nipple shield. So that is something that you can like place over the nipple so that your baby is not sucking directly onto the nipple, so that can be a little bit more comfortable for you, especially in the beginning. It was definitely very uncomfortable first few days, but now it's painless.

One thing that i did not realize, though, is that there's something called a let down with your milk. So, as the baby starts sucking, it like tells your brain to, let down the milk and basically like the milk, starts flowing and that, like let down sensation, feels different for everyone. But for me it does kind of feel like pins and needles, which kind of hurts a little bit just in the first few seconds, and then it goes away as the milk starts flowing, and then it's like painless after that. So i hope that this isn't tmi for a lot of you guys because as a labor and delivery nurse like nothing, is tmi like as nurses.

We would just all sit around and, like you wouldn't, like. You wouldn't believe the stuff that we would talk about just like freely like it was nothing because it's just like the nature of our job, so i feel like, if you're a mom watching this, then i mean it's not too much. The next question is: did you get more newborn outfits or zero to three months or three to six months? I personally got more zero to three month clothing. I think i maybe had like literally two or three um newborn outfits, which was not enough because um i didn't realize, like how much laundry i was gon na have to do and like how many times a day i was gon na, have to Change her, so i had to like go out and get some more newborn stuff.

She didn't last in the newborn size for very long, maybe like the first two to three weeks.

Three weeks was really pushing it.

I would definitely get both newborn and zero to three months. Just in case my baby was seven pounds even at delivery and, like i said, wore newborn size for the first at least two weeks, um and like with two weeks of clothes you need. I mean, i guess, like, i don't know i would do like at least seven to ten onesies so that you have enough for the week and then you can like, do the laundry again.

So i don't know it's so hard to say like how many to get, but i would definitely get both. The next question is: did you have other names that you liked for girls or boys? Elena name is so beautiful and cute michelle. Thank you so much um. I did have other names that i liked omar and i like. Thank god. We agreed on elena but it was. I mean names are so hard and they are so personal and like they are just something that you really have to put a lot of thought into um. I did do a video on my channel

Um, where i talked about other names that i liked.

I will link that down below but like just like an example of a few that i liked for a girl. I love the name. Celine omar does not like that name, but i love it um. So if we ever had another girl, i may like try to convince him to use the name celine, but we'll see. I also like the name noah for a boy. It is very common but. I think it's so so beautiful next question is: did you get phantom kicks so phantom kicks are basically once you deliver the baby. You like feel these like sensations, as if you still had like a baby, kicking in your stomach, and i actually had not heard of phantom kicks until after i had the baby, and i started feeling them and i was like whoa like it feels like It feels like a baby's still inside me like kicking it's so weird. Someone told me that it was like your organs. Moving back into place, i at first thought it was just like gas bubbles or something in my tummy. That kind of reminded me of what it felt like for her to kick, i'm not sure, but i definitely felt them. I haven't felt them in a while, like in a few weeks but it's so insane. Next question is: how are you organizing your time in life and how you're having, how are you having time to take care of yourself? Oh girl, um. I don't really have time to take care of myself, um. There are some days that she will sleep really good like a couple of days ago. she slept for a good hour and i like took a long shower and i like actually did my skincare and i like, you know put my laundry back on for the day and i just felt fresh, but most of the time. Oh my goodness. It's just such a huge adjustment. I just remember like the first the first week i had the baby like i was super hungry and i was sitting on the couch and my life.

I think i had like something to eat like on the coffee table and i was sitting there and i was like feeding her and she was like fussy and i was dealing with her and i was like i really just want to like.

Take a bite of my food but the whole concept of just like putting another human being first before your basic needs is just so new and i don't think anybody can prepare you for that um, so yeah, definitely a huge adjustment and to Answer your question: i'm definitely not like taking care of myself. The way that i used to at all like it's definitely just like really quick like while she's napping like i'll, throw on some skincare or i'll. Just like make sure i at least like change out of my pajamas honestly. Sometimes i feel like we're just in survival mode right now, i'm sure it's gon na get better but newborn life.

I feel like, unless you have like a lot a lot of help like a nanny or something which i don't have um. I am very blessed to have help from my husband who's watching her right now and then, like my mom, sometimes will watch her and things like that, and i can get a little bit of time for myself. But i just feel like newborn life is just hard for anyone. Next question is: does it not feel weird to have something in your belly when you're pregnant - and i always wondered this before i got pregnant like what it felt like to be pregnant and to have something in your stomach and it's?

Oh, my gosh. So when you first start feeling baby kicks like the little flutters to me, it felt like like little gas bubbles or like, a little like fish swimming around in there. It's honestly like subhanallah. It's like the craziest, most amazing thing ever when the baby gets bigger and, like you actually start feeling like the jabs and the punches and then like the movements of like limbs and stuff. I mean it just feels like you have a baby swimming inside your tummy. It's i don't know it's so. I miss it. I do i miss it. So much next question is. Do you have stretch marks and what did you use to prevent stretch marks um?

If not so i did not get stretch marks on my stomach. honestly stretch marks.

Don'T really bother me. I have stretch marks on my thighs and like other areas of my body, um, that i got just from like growing so and honestly they faded so much and i don't even notice them.

So i don't know why people like care so much about stretch, marks um, but i did get them whenever i like.

My milk came in. I got them on my chest, so i definitely have stretch marks um. Just i didn't get them on. My stomach and i think, honestly, like stretch marks if you're gon na get them. I feel like it's just kind of like a genetic thing, um or it's like rapid weight gain, which sometimes you can't like control when you're pregnant you know. So i just feel like there's not really a way to really prevent it that much i did use an oil called mamma mia, which i really loved and i mean it could have worked.

I didn't use it on my chest, so maybe i should have done that, but anyways um, i just feel like it's kind of genetic thing, but i would definitely like try an oil or something during pregnancy.

Just in case, like i did next question, is what were your earliest pregnancy symptoms, so my first pregnancy symptom was like low, deep, like really painful cramps, like in my deep deep pelvic area, and honestly, i just thought i was about to Start my period because i have really bad cramps, anyways um another one of my really early symptoms.

Was that i got super like exhausted and i like took a nap which is not like me whatsoever.

I never take naps, but i did in the beginning of my pregnancy. So i think those two are my like earliest earliest symptoms.

Next is how did it feel holding elena for the first time, congrats?

Thank you um. Oh my gosh. I cannot even describe the feeling of holding your newborn baby for the first time.

It's like you know them because they've been with you, like for nine months, but then you're, just like discovering this new human being and just like just laying eyes on them for the first time like, honestly, there's no words, you cannot describe it and You just like have to experience it for yourself. It's the most beautiful thing in this world. Have you had moments where you felt so overwhelmed? You wanted to cry. There have definitely been moments where i've had to like get the baby tomorrow and just go in the closet and cry, and it's hard to admit that.

But that's i mean, i don't know. Maybe maybe some of you guys can relate. Are you experiencing baby blues or postpartum depression, so i definitely had the baby blues the first two weeks after i had the baby, and i was really worried that i was gon na develop into postpartum depression because i usually like i do have An anxiety, normally i mean, i feel like i've had anxiety.

Since i was little so i was kind of worried that i was going to have postpartum depression, but thankfully it went away.

I was, definitely crying all the time i was literally. I remember this one time omar was omar was having some him some time to himself. He was like playing a video game and. I was on the couch with my baby, like just on my chest, and i was sobbing for no reason. I think it was just triggered by me thinking about her, like growing up and just this tiny little fragile little human and she was just changing every day and i felt like my life was just flying by it was the craziest thing, thank god, my Hormones are back to not normal because i'm still breastfeeding but they're back down, thankfully, but yeah totally normal, and i did talk to like a bunch of my other, like mommy, like friends and family members, and they all said that that was like completely normal. Like to be super tearful and emotional and crying after you have a baby, it's intense next is: did you poop while giving birth? That's one of the big? That's one of my biggest fears so, i actually don't even know if i pooped or not, and the reason is because i can say this because i'm a labor and delivery nurse when patients poop it is very normal.

It happens all the time because, like how can you not when you're pushing it's like literally the same muscles in the same area and like if you're pushing a baby out it's like? If you have any poop there, it's gon na come out. We never ever tell our patients like um. The only reason they might know is, if they smelled it, but we never say. Oh, my god, look you pooped like we never make a big deal out of it and we never would ever want the patient to feel embarrassed about that, because that's not something that they can control. It's not. It's like it's natural, it's normal, like that's like the least of your worries at that moment, so um. What we would do is we would just like quietly, discreetly, just clean it up, throw it away and nobody ever has to know. So i honestly don't even know if i pooped don't even care because it's like so normal - and i know that nurses see it all the time.

So please do not let that be like your biggest fear because, i promise you it's no big deal.

Next is, if you had a boy: what color palette would you choose for the nursery? I thought this was a really good question, because a lot of you guys were like super into my nursery. Decor, like i was, and i'm sure like not everyone's having a girl. Obviously, so i think if i was having a boy, i would do um more gray tones like more like wood tones, maybe some some navy, um and, like white still neutral.

I will put a picture on screen. I always always go to restoration hardware for inspo, so i'm sure i'll find some like rh baby nursery.

That's like stunning for boys next is how did you feel after the epidural ended?

Does that area hurt for a while? This will be me next year: inshallah.

Ah, congratulations um, so the epidural. I had a lot of other people asking about like just how the epidural felt and stuff like that. So i guess i'll just kind of talk about the epidural for a little bit a lot of people are like more scared of the epidural than having the baby.

I would say like. Please do not be so scared of the epidural.

The worst part about the epidural placement was the numbing shot, so it just feels like a little beasting. It's literally like when you're having like really painful contractions like that little beasting with the numbing medicine, is like the least of your worries like i was like. I barely even like flinched with the numbing medication and then, after your numb, um. You really don't feel them putting in the epidural like whatsoever with the big needle or anything like that. It really just feels like pressure and it's not painful.

It's really not supposed to be painful, so i hope that eases your mind about like getting the epidural like place like, getting it put in. So when you have the epidural, you will be numb from like the top of your belly down um and in the beginning it may be a lot stronger, like the numbness and like the tingling, and like not being able to move your legs.

That may be a lot stronger because they give you this bolus of medication when they first give you the epidural that kind of makes your legs go numb and things like that as the bolus wears off. You should still like have that pain, relief and not feel your contractions, but you may be able to like move your legs a little bit um towards the end, like once you're like, getting ready to push um. What else can i tell you? For me, i was so happy to have that epidural. It just felt like the most amazing thing in this world, because i had my epidural place when i was six centimeters like after she checked me. I had already changed to a six, so contractions at six centimeters were no fun at all. I can't imagine what they would have been like if i had to like make it all the way to the end so yeah. I would totally recommend an epidural. Have

I recommended an epidural enough in this video. If you want to do it natural, you do you and i will support you, no matter what you want to do, but if you don't have to be in pain then i just i don't know i just wouldn't want to be in pain.

Oh, how does it feel after it ended and what okay does the area hurt for a while? So after the epidural ends the medicine kind of like slowly will start to wear off and you'll start feeling your feet again and things like that. It takes about two hours for the medication to completely wear off and for you to like be able to stand up and like walk to the bathroom, so yeah and then, like my back after that, was just a little sore. It was literally just like a little soreness and it lasted. I think the soreness maybe lasted like a week or so. But for me it was. It really was not that big of a deal and i didn't have any like major complications or like adverse effects or anything like that. All right does it hurt when you pee for the first time sorry i'm pregnant and overthinking.

Oh congratulations, um. So i think that the amount of pain - obviously it varies for each person, depending on like where you tear. So if you tear around the urethra, which is where the pee comes out, then it will burn and i had a little tear around mine and it did burn when i, when i peed for the first time.

It also kind of feels strange to like put any pressure like to push down or bear down to pee or to go number two, so yeah, but peeing. It just was like burning for me and what you can do for that is. You can get your peri bottle and like spray water there, while you're peeing to dilute the pee. So it's not like so much burning. That makes sense. How do you deal with people who keep telling you what you should do? So i feel like every mom deals with kind of unsolicited advice, and i have definitely gotten my fair share of just being on the internet and just every mom thinking.

They can just tell me everything that i'm supposed to do.

I you know you just take it with a grain of salt, you smile and nod and say: oh my gosh. That's amazing that that worked for you i'll definitely like give it some thought and things like that and then just do whatever you want to do: girl, okay, !

That's what you do. I had to take a quick nursing break, and this one has not been in a very good mood today. and omar is now trying to make himself some food because he hasn't eaten yet today, so we are just going to hang out with mom right now.

While i finish the last couple of questions and then omar is going to come and help me answer a couple of these two, where was i oh, there we go. Did you shave before labor? I personally did just because, like i knew i was when i was gon na be going into the hospital and i had time and everything. But if you don't don't feel bad, i promise you, the nurses have seen it all. Were there ever times. You forgot, you were pregnant and then it hit you again. So in the beginning of my pregnancy, um, i had a couple of these moments like where i would like wake up. First thing like when i opened my eyes, like my first thought, wouldn't be: oh i'm pregnant, but then, like a couple of minutes later, i'd be like oh yeah, i'm pregnant.

It would just be so weird and so cool at the same time. So yeah there were definitely some moments. I was like, oh yeah, but then once the baby gets bigger and you feel the baby kicking and punching and moving and all that stuff there's just like no way you can forget, you can't get away from it and you can't get away from That big belly, so what is the best thing about motherhood so far, ? Well, the best thing for me is like just i don't know, there's so many best things, but right now my favorite thing is like. Her smiling just like having her smile back at me. It's just like the sweetest thing.

Ever and um like she started to like cool a lot more than the past few days, so she's like talk she's, trying to talk to us and it's just the sweetest thing ever: isn't it mama, it's so sweet okay, that was the last question i wanted to answer.

I have a couple more that i want omar to join me for so i'll bring him in okay.

We brought the husband omar to answer a couple, more questions, and we also had an outfit change because we're going to be taking some pictures later. We just need to have our cute fall outfit. Okay, let me find these questions first. Okay, i answered this a little bit earlier, but um. I guess we'll get your perspective, how to best maintain, a good relationship with hubby when the stress of a new baby hits. So i said like it's just gon na be stressful. Either way, i feel like like having a new baby is stressful but um like to maintain our relationship like we've gone on two dates, like i said earlier, and just trying to make time for each other when you can but yeah.

Basically, if you can get help and you can get away yeah for a little bit, that's the best thing to make time for you and your spouse, but um yeah, it's gon na be stressful.

I mean you know, that's just how how it is, but you have to learn to cope with it. Basically, it's another thing that you, but i feel like it's going to get better. That's what i was saying earlier. I feel like it's going to get better.

It's just the newborn stage and it's hard. How do women want their man to act in the labor room? My wife's still angry at me for stroking her, like a cat. This reminded me of whenever

I was about to push and my okay.

My legs were super still super numb from the epidural and omar was like trying to like be supportive and comforting, and he was like stroking, my leg yeah and i was like.

I know you're like trying to be helpful right now, but that feels really weird, because your legs were numb so yeah, so it just felt so weird and i was touching my leg.

I didn't even know that i was not doing that consciously like it was just uh.

It's just like a habit just to have it yeah a lot of dads like that.

I would see um a lot of them. They just don't know what to do so. They just don't do anything they're just like frozen in the back like yeah, and i think maybe, if they like, went into the labor room with like a little bit more of like knowledge of like kind of what is going to happen.

Like maybe take some, a child, yeah read books, uh just have a little bit more like knowledge before you go in that way. You're not stunned, and just don't don't know what to do. You don't know what to say right, um because, maybe that can be taken as like you're, not being supportive, but then it's not they're, not being supportive.

It's just that. They don't know what to do.

They don't know how to be supportive, yeah, so, yeah um, the biggest thing is just be, be there be next to your spouse, hold your hand, you know, that's all you can do just and be encouraging, but not not don't be. Like a coach, you know where you're getting in their face like come on. You can push bush, you know. Maybe some women like that, but maybe, but i feel, like i feel, like you know, the the nurses are themselves are better at coaching yeah. So you're not really there to coach them through that would kind of get on my nerves. Whatever, like, i was the nurse trying to like, okay, we're gon na count to ten and then the husband's over there, like one, two yeah, three, i'm like no, please just stop.

Let the nurses do their job because i promise they're better at it than you are and just be there as to give some words of encouragement.

You know your presence really just your presence is going to be, probably good enough, but you know just reinforced just say good job that was good, you're doing great.

There was some video

I was watching where it was like, the husband and wife kind of had like an understanding like before, going into labor like okay, um, like if the husband is like rubbing her back or whatever, and it feels good like They like that, then they don't say anything like because a lot of times like when you're in, like that much pain, you're not going to like want to say like oh, yes, keep doing that. That feels good, like right, you're just going to be like in your contraction like trying to focus, but if they, if you don't like what your husband is doing like then tell him, then you can say:, okay, stop and then the husband knows like okay, I'm not going to get my feelings, don't get offended. Yeah yeah! Don'T get offended. You can't get offended because you're not yourself when you're in that much pain, so anything that a woman says in the moment. I don't even know how to like represent that feeling from for men, but just imagine something excruciating like uh-huh, i don't know, i haven't, felt anything getting shot enough.

There's something you know in the end like imagine how much it would hurt yeah and to be in that moment, and then somebody's like blowing on your face or something like really annoying. You know yeah. It would be amplified so everything's going to be amplified. So just, you know, don't get offended, just yeah relax, and, like i said like it like different women like different things but um. I feel like a lot of women like their lower back massage and things like that yeah. I hope that that was helpful at all yeah. Oh, this one is kind of kind of goes along with the last one: how to prepare your male spouse and get them involved, etc. so i think, like maybe doing a birthing class before the labor, to get them more involved and get them like mentally prepared for what's going to happen. right um, also like whenever, like as i was preparing for the baby and like, you know getting things for the nursery or like ordering like clothes or ordering like, different toiletries or just things to care for her.

I would always like kind of involve omar and tell him like what i ordered and like how to use it and like kind of just like involve him in that process as well, just because i was the one basically doing the most of it. So at least like explain to you like, oh, this is for this, and this is how you do this and just kind of like having that conversation. So you don't just have the baby and then you don't know what any of this stuff is. What do i do with all of this yeah? I think that was all the ones that um involved. You so really yeah. Okay, ! Oh! What about you lately? What was it like to be born?

Yeah tell us what it was like to be born what it was like.

We don't remember, probably hard. It's, probably a very traumatic experience, yeah, but you did good, but you did really good. You did great well, thank you guys so much for watching.

I hope you guys enjoyed this little q a.

Let me know what all you guys want to see next on my channel, and i will see you guys in my next video.